Hayden is getting baptized in June. If you follow my blog, you've probably picked up on the fact that I do not have any faith or subscribe to religion in any form. Liz is a Catholic...although she's definitely not hard-core about it and, frankly, sometimes I wonder if she'll become a Unitarian or something like that in the future. Anyway (getting a bit off-track here), Liz and I have talked about Hayden's upbringing and we both feel that we want him to understand where we're coming from. Believe me, I've heard and read about all the "issues" about parents who don't have the same belief system and what that does to the kids. That's not what I want to talk about right now. The thing I've been struggling with is going through the process with Liz and Hayden.
See, I feel like I'd be a total hypocrite if I answered, "I do", when I'm asked if I'm a follower of Christ and I'll raise him in a Christian home, or if I reject Satan and all his works. I don't believe in any of that, and I feel like I'd be lying if I did so. And while I'd like to say I don't give a crap about what others think of me, I have to be honest and say that I think there'd be some people within our families who wouldn't understand if I wasn't part of the service, and...family dynamics can get interesting ;).
It seems like such a small, small thing to do. Like, "Jason, there's people dying of cancer and floods and there's sickness in the world and the US government is screwed up beyond belief...just answer the questions and get it over with!" But I feel like I'm compromising my views on life if I profess to something I don't believe in, even if it's only answering two or three questions with two words! Liz and I have talked about it, and we jokingly thought of me crossing my fingers behind my back ('cuz, you know, that means I'm joking or something). Or that I interpret the questions in my own way in that I'm a follower of "good" and I reject "evil in all of its forms." But that doesn't seem right to me either.
I guess what I'm looking for is some insight from those who are raising kids and your spouse has a different belief system that you do (and I don't mean you're a Baptist and your significant other is a Lutheran - I mean real, significant differences). I know that circumstances like this are going to keep popping up in the future. I don't mind telling Hayden why I don't go to church, and I feel like Liz and I have a good hold on how we're going to explain that parents can have different views but still love each other very much. But being part of a service where I feel like I'm being a hypocrite...that's just not sitting well with me. I'd have no problem going to the service and supporting my wife in something she feels is important for our son. But answering those questions...man, I don't know. Feel free to post your views in the comment section - thanks!
* Posted at 04.02.2005 09:43:53 AM CST | Link *